Protecting Children with Synergic Containment
Monday, May 7th, 2007
Timothy Wilken, MD
writes: Children through immaturity and ignorance sometimes engage in
dangerous behavior. The danger may be to themselves or to others.
Often this begins before they are able to understand the consequence of
their behavior, or to be reasoned with. How do you stop them without
resorting to adversity and punishment?
We have
all seen parents slap a small child’s hand, when their child reaches
for something hot or sharp. The child immediately cries and often runs
away, but what has the child learned? Gordon would argue that
physically striking the child sends only one message, “You are bad!”And, while the child will withdraw, it is not because they understand
that they were in danger, but simply because they fear the parent will
strike them again. Now parents often feel that striking the child was
necessary to protect the child, but is this really true?
I remember one winter, a heavy storm knocked out the electrical power
to our home for almost a week. I hurriedly purchased a portable
kerosene heater for warmth and cooking. It was an amazing device, but
it was also dangerously hot. My three year old daughter Reason had
never seen such a thing in our modern all electrical home and watched
with fascination as I set it up. As I watched the sparkle in her eye, I
realized the damage she might sustain from touching the top or sides of
the heater.
I asked by wife to hold her well within her arms while I set up the
heater.Once it was lit, it soon became hot and began to glow. I told my
daughter that it was very hot. I placed a small piece of paper on top
which soon burst into flames. I poured a few drops of water on the
surface that flashed into steam. All this time her mother advised her,
that the heater was very hot and she should not touch it. She stood
back and I watched her eyes growing large in amazement. Later her
mother went to attend her baby sister Serene, and when I turned, Reason
was approaching the heater.
I moved quickly squatted down and contained her loosely in my arms.
Gently preventing her from getting closer than two feet. Then to my
delight, she told me that the stove was HOT! And that I was NOT to
touch it.
Later that evening, I would hear Reason carefully instructing her baby
sister that the heater was very HOT, and that Serene should NOT touch
it. This was quite unlikely since Serene was only nine months old.
However, she seemed to listen carefully as she sucked her bottle. Over
the next seven days, Reason never ventured closer than two feet to the
heater, and watched it with great respect. Then, electrical power was
restored and we put away the kerosene heater. (05/07/07)
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